Friday, 22 October 2010
A Little Announcement
Dear blog friends. I have some exciting news to tell you…I’m pregnant!
With a book!
Some of you may need to sit down for a minute. The mental image of a pregnant grandmother might be a little much. Sorry about that.
But I think the image fits the situation. When I was first offered the contract, I was all atwitter. Oh, my goodness! I’m going to have a book! I hugged the news to myself and only told my husband. And my dog.
Then the contract arrived in the mail. That’s when the butterflies went from flitting around my stomach with happy anticipation to careening around like kamikaze bomber pilots. I put the signed contract in the mail and sat down at my computer, staring at the empty screen.
About that time the morning sickness began. How on earth am I going to do this thing? I ate some saltines. Then I wondered if I was rushing things. Maybe I needed another decade or so to prepare. Am I ready to be a first time book mom? Eventually impostor syndrome kicked in. Do these people know what they’re doing by trusting me to carry this baby to term?
I thought of finding a surrogate writer to help with gestation. Or at least a birth coach. It was going to be a long labor. And my husband definitely would need prayer.
The Great Good News
But finally I realized what I needed was to apply the gospel to this writing project. The gospel isn’t just good news for my bad news–my sins, failings, sufferings, and weakness–it’s great news for my good news.
The gospel is the great news of what God has done for me in Jesus. The extent of what he has done is so vast that I will never get to the end of it, and I will never get tired of praising him for it. Everything God has done stays done. I don’t need to be afraid it will go away. I don’t need to roll up my sleeves and help. I don’t need to add my personal touch to it.
I need to rest in his finished work:
- His work of redemption–he has paid for all my sin debts and redeemed my very life from futility. My life is not in vain no matter what I am called to do. If I’m a stay at home mom or a first time author or a cancer fighter or a migraine sufferer, my labor is not in vain if I am in Christ. A change of calling doesn’t change that for better or for worse.
- His work of new creation–he has taken my old life and made it completely new. Now my identity is rooted in Christ, not in vulnerable things like what I accomplish or in changeable things like my looks or in broken things like my dysfunctional phobias.
The Root of My Confidence
I could go on and on. But here’s where it applies to me today. My “morning sickness” pointed to a crisis of confidence. It showed that I had shifted my dependence from God to myself, my abilities. Not just for the success of the project but for my very identity. I wasn’t aware my trust had shifted. I didn’t do it on purpose. But it had and I felt it.
At this point I don’t need a pep talk like “you can do this” or a worst case scenario talk like “what’s the worst thing that can happen?” I need to shift my full weight back onto the God of the gospel.
I need my confidence to rest in the One who did the great work:
- the One “who loved me and gave himself up for me” won’t pick this moment to pack up and leave.
- the One “who created me in Christ Jesus” has prepared this work for me and me for this work. He knows what he is doing.
Now my exciting news feels like good news again.